April Blog: Change

This is the last one, right? I feel like this should be my closing argument for some thesis that I've been arguing for during these last eight months. I'm struggling to find a way to incorporate current events into this blog, so I'll just talk about the election. It seems that we are facing a transitory period for the political parties that has been brought about by people feeling like they have no say in their government. People feel like things have been getting worse and worse and nothing that they can do will change it. So, they are supporting Bernie or Trump as an alternative to the establishment that they believe has given up on them. Now... how to connect that to literature....

In many of the novels that we have read, we have seen characters that are unsatisfied. Characters that believe they are missing something and make some kind of change. For example, Dorian Gray is afraid of growing old and somehow performs some kind of magic that makes a painting age instead of him. In Jekyll and Hyde, Dr. Jekyll is unsatisfied with his life and tries to separate the good and evil within him. In The Stranger, Meursault just sort of does whatever constantly, so he really doesn't fit into this train of thought. However, the other characters make a change with the hopes of making their lives better. They tread into new territory that others have not been to in the hopes of solving life's great problems. Of course, in the end they fail quite miserably. They both die.

Now, to connect the literature and the current events more obviously, there is a desire for change that I see a lot. Many people just want things to change. People want change and they search for it through elections or through mystical paintings or potions that turn them into, like, trolls or something. I wonder if maybe the change we are looking for won't lead us somewhere worse than where we are now. I suppose that's the risk one has to take. I myself have wanted change for a while in my own life, yet I wonder if, now that I am on the verge of such change, it is really what I want. Again, that seems to be the risk that you have to take to make your life better. So what lesson can be learned by the failure of those in the aforementioned novels? I suppose they tried to change the unchangeable; that is, the fact of aging, or of the duality of human beings. Maybe this connection was  a bit of a stretch.

March Blog: Regret

I feel like regret is kind of cliche; it's such a common human emotion, yet we talk about it like it's the worst thing ever. "I regret nothing" is quite the lie, if you ask me. We've all done things that we wish we hadn't. I suppose that the concept of regret has more to do with dwelling on regret; that's what people mean when they say that they regret nothing. They mean that they don't dwell on it anymore. But why is regret seen as so awful? I suppose it shows the lack of control we have over actions that we have already taken. Nothing is so out of control as our past.

We are fast approaching the end of the school year. It has truly gone by faster and faster the further we have gotten. I think that the end of one's senior year of high school is one of those times in life when one thinks of regret often. People regret that they weren't as involved, that they didn't get better grades, that they let a friendship fade away, that they didn't appreciate it while it happened. I think many students spend their entire high school career waiting for it all to be over. I know I did. I suppose that I do regret how I handled high school, although I can't say that I would be willing to do it all over again. I wish I had been more than just a student.

Regret is something that I have seen a lot in our most recent texts. Dr Faustus eventually regrets that he sold his soul for ultimate power; Dorian regrets trading his soul for eternal youth; Jekyll regrets his excursion into human depravity. A common theme here seems to be reaching out to absolutes that do not truly exist. There is no such thing as absolute power, eternal youth, or absolute evil. These texts seem to be suggesting that the inner monster of the human being is that which clings to absolutes. Humans are creatures of duality; infinitely powerful and weak, young and old, good and evil. The defeat of our inner monsters therefore must lie in our balanced understanding of ourselves. They regret allowing their inner monsters to corrupt their views of the world.

My inner monster, I suppose, corrupted my view of high school. I always felt that public education was poorly handled by the government and wanted more to make me conform than to make me an individual. I clung to the belief that school was an absolute waste of my time. I now realize, as many do in hindsight, that this is not true and that I gained a lot from high school and there was a lot that I could have taken advantage of if I had just been more balanced. The final lesson my high school experience is teaching me is that I can't cling to absolutes; they do not exist. I plan to make the most of college to avenge the death of a Josiah-that-would-have-been if I had made this realization sooner.

P.S. Sorry this is late. Consider my tardiness an April Fools joke. #gotcha

February Blog: Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is defined as "the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavior decisions and attitude change." This is a term that I have been aware of for many years and I find that it consistently comes to the forefront of my mind when I find myself to be confused by something I have read or heard. It seems to me to be a very fascinating quality of human thought that we are able to have a sort of mental double standard. In history, double standards have existed to rationalize oppression and persecution, yet it seems very rare that people experience cognitive dissonance, or at least that they recognize it. For some reason, we are able to think two opposing things at once without taking any issue with it.

Recently, this term came to mind when reading A Room of One's Own, when Virginia Woolf wrote about the contradiction that exists between how women are treated in real life and how they are portrayed in male-written literature. This is one of the most provocative thoughts I have ever read, as it exposes a double standard that has existed for thousands of years without causing much if any cognitive dissonance. This concept stayed with me long after I left class. How could those in power have gotten away with such a scheme and what was their reasoning? Why did this inconsistency exist? I'm sure that these would be great questions for a psychologist to answer, as opposed to me. I only wonder how men were able to see women for all of the potential that they have while simultaneously being able to systematically oppress them. Sounds like doublethink to me. 

The really unfortunate thing about double standards and cognitive dissonance is that they both still thrive in today's world. Gender roles are a pretty good example. As a culture, we tend to treat our children differently simply based on their gender. Two children that know nothing of gender or gender roles are indoctrinated by society to behave a certain way based on their gender. We tell children that they can do anything in the world except wear a dress if you're a boy, or play football if you're a girl. Again, this double standard exists, yet many people see no contradiction. How confusing. Maybe it's not. Maybe our brains are just big enough to believe two things at once. Or maybe it's just more convenient for us to ignore the things that make us uncomfortable. Perhaps that explains the existence of great women in male-written literature; maybe it served as an outlet for this cognitive dissonance that men have held for centuries from oppressing the half of the species that they claimed to love so much.

It's a depressing thought any way you slice it. Hopefully, our recognition of the double standards that exist in society will prompt us to look closer at how we run things. Hopefully, we will recognize that cognitive dissonance should shake us from our sleep and not be written off as a headache. 

January Blog: Personal Heroes

The concept of the literary hero is something that we see a lot as a culture; we have talked about it more times than I can count in English class alone. Heroes are never portrayed in exactly the same way in literature, but there are many similarities between them and they all serve a particular purpose in literature. What I want to talk about is the concept of personal heroes. I wonder what defines a personal hero and if there is any sort of common thread between the traits of people’s personal heroes. What is the purpose of a personal hero and why do we feel the need to have them?

What sparked these thoughts that I’m having is the passing of David Bowie. Before his death, I don’t know that I would have called him a hero to me. I never really felt like I had any idols or personal heroes because I understand that no one is perfect; heroes should be perfect, right? As people with flaws, could anyone ever really qualify as a hero? I guess I had the wrong idea about the whole concept. A personal hero doesn’t seem to have a lot of logic to it. For example, how could your hero be Neil Armstrong when he could have never done what he did without the people who built the spaceship; are they heroes too? So, it seems that the concept of a personal hero is illogical, which gives it a lot more freedom.

Anyway, David Bowie is a hero of mine. I love his music and see in him something that is unmatched by any other artist. Since I was a child I have loved his music; I remember listening to “Life on Mars” and telling my parents that it was my favorite song. Is it still my favorite song? No, probably not, but Bowie still has that effect on me today. His talent and creativity are inspirational to me. I aspire to be as incredible as I perceive him to be. This is coming off a bit like I worship the ground he walks on, which is not really the case. As I said, heroes are not perfect.

It seems to me that heroes are really just a source of inspiration; something to aspire to. Our heroes achieve in such a way that gives us the inspiration to do our best. I’m glad I’m not anyone’s hero; that seems like a lot of pressure.